‘ Every death is a tragedy, but eggs make omelettes.’
Billy Woods - Soft Landing
The idea that absence and distance make the familiar feel profound and the spectacular uninspiring had begun to take shape in my circumstance being away from my Kiambu residence for work. The famous contempt familiarity bred was now starting to evaporate as I found myself continually thinking of the house I lived in, its convenient inconveniences and ironically, the company of fellow Manchester United fans in our journey back to the glory days.(PS; It's International Break as I write this, so we aren’t dropping points. Let’s hope we don't when they actually play, fingers crossed.) Coming into the 12th of September, I woke up to the promise of a beautiful morning and my ensuing routine as I began my day. Checking my social feed, I got wind of some disturbing news from our MUFC local fan club ,a longtime neighbor of mine who took his own life the night before. I had seen him a few weeks ago, practicing penalty kicks with teammates from the neighbourhood soccer team. I waved, he hit me with a thumbs up. He looked fine. Now, I'm not sure I even know how to look, or if my eyes are open at all . My support is with his family and friends. Thing is, I was his friend as well so the more realistic dilemma is what I can and should do for myself?
A rhetorical question, and a common one at that, is whether there exists an accurate amount of mental preparation to cope with the loss of life. Nearly 1 million people die by suicide globally each year. It ranks among the three leading causes of death among adolescents and young adults .In my communal experience, despite the obvious environmental and social biases, it may be difficult to go through the grieving process for a number of reasons;
? Heightened levels of guilt and responsibility ( for failure to foresee and prevent the suicide)
? A need to find clarity on the reasons behind the death
? A need to conceal the fact of the suicide due to shame and stigmatization
? Lack of social support from networks due to stigma causing isolation
? Increase in chances of suicidal behavior in the survivor as a result of the death
Though the first question remains unanswered, the second allows more space for interpretation. Thus, coping mechanisms immediately come to mind. In recent times, gratitude, ingrained in the positive emotional coping model has emerged as an intrinsic response in mental health wellness circles and consequently, society in general. This would necessitate the motif that to live in hearts we leave behind is not to die and should we shield our eyes from the dangers associated with valleys, then we would never appreciate the beauty of the canyons that formed. An interesting line from Billy Woods, one of Hip-Hop\s most singular artist’s most recent album MAPS reads, ‘ Every death is a tragedy, but eggs make omelettes’. An unusual metaphor but an insightful one nonetheless, it speaks to the fact that there exists much to be appreciated even with the end of things, and in time we learn how to take note of this universal truth.
With no outlet to speak on for some of the reasons highlighted above, I turned to the Internet for answers. With increased publicization of suicide in the media, I tried to find some form of paean for the barrage of emotions I was undergoing, a silver lining to atone for the fact that my friend’s departure was one without a goodbye. I came to the realization that swan songs are rarely written for the same purpose and to a similar audience, so how would I use music as an avenue to facilitate healing?
In an interview with Benard Sumner and Peter Hook, members of the English rock band Joy Division speak of the mental strain the loss of their lead vocalist, Ian Curtis, had on them both professionally and personally. As their bandmate in spite of his personal turmoil had made a choice that is abhorrent to us, they felt disconnected and “divorced” from their memory. They were in a state of conflict with him, and they felt betrayed to be left to resolve that conflict alone. The shock and grief that consumes us after we lose someone we hold dear is overwhelming.
The pain of loss is often a personal one and thus different artists would have non-identical creative processes to deal with it. So why not let the reflections of others guide us?
1. Nick Cave - The Skeleton Tree(2016)
Genre; Classical Rock
Trauma as a reminder of battles won
Nick Cave, in One More Time With Feeling, a film about his album and the death of his son, Arthur, in 2015, urges caution in linking the contents of the latter to the former. He points out that most of the lyrics were written before his son died, that he was too exhausted to write anything worthwhile in the aftermath.
This album achieves a remarkable accomplishment in the way the band is able to make music at the verge of collapse. Nick is understandably distraught, and this album exists in a universe that requires an understanding of the deep trauma of loss for it to be understood. This offering by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds plays not so much an exploration of grief as an example of how grief overwhelms or seeps into everything but also as a reminder that the wounds close, the scars remain but the worst has passed.
2. Saba - Care For Me (2018)
Genre ; Jazz Rap, Hip-Hop
Trauma as a solace for denied possibility
‘We love old men for what they are; young men for what they promise to be.’
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
Saba, a Chicago rapper, wrote his album ‘Care for Me’ in the memory of his cousin, close friend and collaborator John Walt, who was stabbed to death in Chicago in October 2017. One of the reasons we may tend to find difficulties coming to terms with the loss of young life is the expectation of a life much greater than what was shown, or as Johann put it, what could’ve been.
On one hand, there's no doubt that this album finds Saba in a state of peak reflection and contemplation, which is reflected vividly in his lyrics. The mindsets he's talking about while processing grief aren't just interesting, they're also brutally relevant to anyone in a similar position, they're agonizingly important.
It's not just the subjects of depression and mental health which this album is known for, however, the artist’s effort in helping the listener bridge the dissociation that make it great. Saba explores the feelings associated with the death of a friend that came too soon, the constant nagging knowledge of how present a force it is in the world and that it could appear (and reappear) in our lives at any moment.
At the end of the album, listeners are offered a glimpse of hope as Heaven,” a glowing conclusion to the saga that imagines a reborn Walter ascending to a better place, looking down watchfully at his loved ones and looking after Saba. It’s a remarkably powerful scene, a moment where Saba comes to realize that, despite everything, he was never alone and he never will be.
3. Sun Kil Moon - Benji (2014)
Genre; Country, Folk, Acoustic
Trauma as a tool for exploration of life and appreciation of humanity
An album about the passage of time, the fragility of life, and the deaths of other people as a constant reminder that none of us are immune to the hands of time. Mark Kozelek tells stories about his experiences with death, the things that made him more conscious of his own mortality, whether they directly affected him, or just stories that he heard about. "Carissa" is now the track that I have to think of when people that I barely knew in my life, unexpectedly pass away. In a stream-of-thought style, the artist shares his thoughts on the passing of a cousin who died in a freak accident, feeling distant yet still affected and trying to make sense of it.
The potency about his commentary about death really comes through due to his blatant lack of abstraction in his songwriting. Most folk musicians tend to leave out a lot of personal details and fill their songs with nebulous similes and analogies that paint a general "atmosphere" to lead the way throughout the LP’s runtime. But on this record, you know what is being discussed and it's not hard to follow. No one is dancing around the point here. This album has taught me life affirmation through the gratitude that comes with knowing and understanding the power in the special life story afforded to everyone beneath the despair and heartache of loss of life.
4. Jay Dilla- Donuts (2006)
Genre; Instrumental, Experimental Hip Hop
Trauma as a tool for self reflection and appreciation.
“When it’s time to die, let us not discover that we have never lived.”
Henry David Thoreau
The most accurate way to briefly describe this album is a soulful last dance from a man who died doing what he really, really loved. There's no reason to stop just because the end will come. It all goes in circles anyway.
Donuts, in the real world, isn't a well known album. In the world of music and hip hop, it's as big as they come. The album is somewhat infamous now, but if you don't know the story, I'll tell you. Donuts was released on February 7, 2006, J Dilla's 32nd birthday, and only three days before his death. He had been diagnosed with an incurable blood disease TTP in 2002 and he had also been diagnosed with lupus earlier. The majority of this album was composed from a hospital bed, and he was just doing what he loved doing.
“Donuts” is everything but sad or depressing as one might expect. It is quite the opposite, it is beaming with joy and life. It is one of the most uplifting and happy records that I have come across so far. It is the sound of someone doing something they really like and putting their whole heart into it. It is basically just Dilla messing around with his favourite records. It sounds amazing. There are 31 cuts/songs here with the majority of them being under 90 seconds. Despite their brief duration none of them sound pointless or rushed.
An album such as this allows for keep pushing forward in the face of unfavourable circumstances. It places an emphasis on the gift that remains from our shared interactions and the time spent in pursuit of things meaningful to us. Though the artist passed on young, his legacy remains intact, and in the same spirit, so will those who choose to carry on in spite of adversity.
PS;
Update: International break’s over, we played Brighton and lost. I'm not happy about it but I'm keeping my head held high. I wonder if they make music for discouraged fans, might just be my next article lol.
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The author is a Law Student at the University of Nairobi.
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